it's either cry or smoke, or cry and smoke.

but... my eye glands have been locked up. there is this in-built mechanism developed over the years that doesn't allow me to cry as easily as i did in the past. and... i wan to smoke so badly. but there is yet another in-built mechanism (that's probably sado-masochistic in nature as well) that forbids me frm smoking in instances like these when i wan & need to smoke more than i feel like it.

why do i find myself treading back into familiar ground? why is it so difficult to pen down my arguments? what went wrong somewhere exactly? what and why is this happening to me? this thesis, yes, it is going to my death knell. :-(